Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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