I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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