I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
