Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize