Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
