just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
