I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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