But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
