nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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