I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we're so committed to being not committed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
