Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize