is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
