guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
