One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
