Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
