Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
