she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
