Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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