Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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