do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
