I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
