I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
