Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
