I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
