Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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