Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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