so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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