dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize