my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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