Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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