Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
