awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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