Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
