this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize