yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My vagina just recognized that song.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
