Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can't motorboat a personality
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
