I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
