oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
