Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize