you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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