Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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