Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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