he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize