I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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