Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
this hospital has no fireball
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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