HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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