so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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