Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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