just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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