well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
