And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
