You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
