kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize