make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
