hell yes lets make some ravioli
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
