You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
