The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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