I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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