i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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