I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
