Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
